Wed 28 Jul 2010
Getting Naked
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Let me ask you this, reader… how naked is too naked? And what does “naked” really mean, anyway. If someone were to ask me that question twenty years ago, I’d have slurred said, “there’s no such thing as too naked” as I sipped my long neck Bud Light in the hot tub. But, nowadays, I’m likely to take a shower with my clothes on if someone else is even in the same house . (I know, I know… lucky guy, right?)
I just can’t get naked like I used to, damn it.
Still, I repeatedly find myself exposed in other ways. I can bare it all on my blog and- God help me- on Facebook. I forge connections with people quickly at bars and parties (or on Capitol Street, on my lunch hour, in passing) and then, invariably, end up confiding wholly inappropriate things to them within the space of very little time. I exhaust my old friends with repetitive stories about my life, my problems, my relationships. I just have this intense desire to be known, I think. Known and, more importantly, accepted. (For who I really am, ya’ know?) Which I prefer over the also-quite-possibly-true alternative: that I am intensely self-absorbed.
My friend, Davis, and I spend a lot of time talking about my complete lack of caution when it comes to self-publishing. He is concerned that one day I’m going to go out of my mind and start blogging a detailed account of the first time I became intimate with someone. I can almost see him wiping his brow… He worries about me.
Davis used to read my former blog, which was really just an anonymous version of this journal-y type thing I’m doing now, but with more consistent posts. He’s always the first one to suggest reverting back to anonymity as an option when I start to talk about writing something really personal. And, maybe there is something to writing anonymously. Maybe, I was able to post more consistently because I didn’t have to worry about ‘WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK’ back then. But, what is personal, really? I mean, I get that there are things that are private. And that some people are private. But, isn’t most of what’s personal to me, probably personal to you, too? Isn’t it nice to have someone out themselves once in a while, so we can all sit back and have a nice laugh? Or, a nice cry?
So, I think… for now… there’s no going back to Mallory Bennett or any other noms de plume for that matter.
*It should be noted, for all that I am for blogging under my own name, I still worry about what people think. For instance, I am super pissed fully relieved to learn that my boyfriend doesn’t even read my blog. And my mom’s computer is really, really slow, so anything I write now she won’t see until she’s- ya’ know- in the home.
Seriously, read “The Facebook Effect.” There is a whole section on how “You have one identity.” It fully supports your idea of being yourself and letting go that anonymity. I love the pic!
It opens up the whole question of “Why blog?”
We all want to be recognized and appreciated for our talents. Personally, I see it as therapy and a chance to exorcise a few demons along the way. Perhaps to make people laugh as well.
Self-absorbed? I am the king.
I keep my family anonymous (esp. my kids) on my blog and somewhat, myself, too. But, if people email me, and I feel comfortable with them, I let them into my sad little world. LOL.
It’s always easier when you don’t know who your audience is, or if you even have one for that matter. Because you can always live in the denial of ‘no one is actually reading my stuff’ to keep you comforted in writing whatever you need to get out OR if there are people reading, they must be interested in what you’re saying in the first place!
Going back to what you were questioning, my opinion is what’s personal to you MAY or MAY NOT push the envelop with someone else’s personal boundaries. I know people who within the first conversation with someone new will slide some kind of sexual innuendo only to delve into a more personal conversation. And I also know those who are more reserved & act as if their parents didn’t shabang at least once in their lives to bore them!
So with that, I think it’s comforting to know that there are people in this world who really want to know what other people feel & how they interact & why & to have an intimate cry with strangers. And you shouldn’t apologize for questioning that or for wanting to be heard!
Fun topic
There once was a time when it was a question of to bare or not too bare. For the most part it’s a matter of figurative or literal. I’ll leave the literal to the imagination, However for the figurative when it comes to baring our soul to others it’s what we do with that mental nudity.
As a naturist the flesh is acceptable, as a person the open mind and open life is just as acceptable. However the acts we demonstrate in such nature are often what is in question. We often tend to figuratively masturbate ourselves by openly expressing too much of ourselves that it often makes as big a mess and embarrassment of things as the literal sense can.So the bare essential is that we carry ourselves in a display that is as much art and performance as it is open to others and bring their praise and applause rather than turning them off or have them turn us off.