Karan-a-go-go

I hate to make another lame excuse about why I’m not blogging tonight (word count: 14), but my sweet, funny, smart cousin Meredith has decided to grace me with her presence which she never does.  So, I feel obliged to soak it all in while I can.

Meredith and I are exactly three months apart.  She grew up here in Charleston, while I grew up in a little place called Dublin, Ohio.  Every Christmas break and summer vacation, when I would come to Charleston to visit my dad, Meredith and I would hang out (read: raise hell) for my whole visit.  (Okay, well, when we were young we would hang out, but it wasn’t long before we were raising hell.)  Our other cousin, Jennifer, would sometimes be in on everything with us.  We would have so much fun.  Parties in Sherwood Forest, drinking with our grandmother (George Dickel and Diet Coke), or hanging at the Mall- we really did have a good time.

But, we’re older now- and more mature- so, tonight we’ll sip our herbal tea and listen to NPR.  Which is only to say that I won’t be blogging anymore this evening.  (Word count: 194)

Three things:

• Three children can be much easier to handle than two.
• The fewer calories that I eat, the more freaked out I become that I am eating too much.
•  Though in my youth I happily ingested substances that by all accounts should have been handled only while wearing a hazmat suit, I’m inordinately terrified of taking my low-dose birth control pills.

 Go figure.

So, it’s 11:54 and I’m on a deadline- I have to post before midnight to keep up my end of a deal with Douglas over at hundredmountain.com.  The only problem with that is that I fell asleep during the Colbert Report and just BARELY have enough time to get published.  I’ll resort to bullet points:

• Received a FREE washer and dryer today from the parents of a FB friend
• Had therapy during lunch- still not cured of mental defects
• Having lunch tomorrow w/ close friend who always picks up the tab
• Have lost 7 pounds in past 2 weeks
• Must sleep now

More tomorrow.

K.

From today’s Gospel:

Matthew 6:5-6

5 And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.

6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Okay, so I get this… I mean, I get the gist.  But, then, why do we want everyone to see the ashes on our noggins? 

That puzzles me every year.

God, I’ve been behaving selfishly.  I’ve been so maudlin and full of self-pity lately.  Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink, as they say.  (And actually, I hate it when they say it.)

 Here are things I am certain of:

•  I know that I feel better when I say a prayer- a simple, “help me” in the morning and “thank you” at bedtime. 
•  I feel better when I try to meditate.  Even though my mind races and I get frustrated and think I’ll never be able to be still.
•  I feel better when I’m thinking of others, not myself.
•  I feel better when I focus on what’s right, and not on what’s wrong, with my life.
•  I feel better when I’m concerned with fixing my own faults rather than the faults of others.
• I feel better when I do simple things: sleep, eat well, exercise, pay bills on time, clean the house, floss.

 I’ve seen the rewards of diligently working to grow spiritually- things seem to fall into place, I am more at ease, and all that fear inside starts to slip away.  This is what makes it all the more amazing that I am still so often unwilling to let go of my grasping, self-seeking ways.

 I need to remember what I once did to get from here to there.

This is a video that I did just to test out my filming, editing, and embedding skills.  I promise more exciting things in the future- although, you did get to see my Bill Clinton t-shirt. 

Also, don’t vlog and drive!

Finally! 

I purchased a domain name way back in the Spring of 09 with every intention of starting a vlog to document my madcap adventures in Charleston, West Virginia.  I had been toting my son’s little flip camera with me everywhere I went in some kind of exhibitionist frenzy and was sure that other people would somehow be interested in the life of a 30-something mother of two.  I mean, what’s not exciting about swim meets and play dates, right?

But, unfortunately, I tend to be better at the START of projects and not-so-much on the follow through.  My summertime videos (crazy Crossfit workouts, vacations, 20 year high school reunions) languished in their raw format and my site went unattended.  Thank God no one seemed to remember my constant yammering about Karan A GoGo.  I could let the vlog idea go gentle into that good night without anyone realizing that I’d flamed out yet again.

Or so I believed.  Occasionally, my good friend- a writer, musician, multi-media guru- would bug me to “get going, already” with the vlog.  I came up with lame excuses every time he mentioned it.  (“I’m working on something else,” “I’m busy with the kids,” or- the most effective- “I’m getting divorced.”)   No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn’t summon the wherewithal to complete the first post. Until today, that is…

This morning, as I was hard at work at my job (read: Facebooking from work), I got a text from him.  “I have a challenge for you” it read.  Seeing the opportunity to cash in on lunch, I replied that I’d consider his challenge, but not until noon and at a nearby restaurant rather than via text.  

Over a veggie wrap and Perrier (why do I drink expensive water?), he outlined his plan. It was simple and compelling: both of us would blog every day.  In order to give me a much needed boost, he even fixed up the theme of my site which I hadn’t been able to figure out how to do.  That little push (and my tendency to make promises to myself (and God) during Lent) was all I needed to get started. (I heart you, Doug!)

Finally!