in one day, without outing myself as LAME-O, they would read:

Karan Ellison Ireland

  • doesn’t get why, in the Shawshank Redemption, the guards threw some powdery stuff on the new prisoners to de-louse them, but in battling the scourge of elementary schools and (evidently) prisons everywhere, she has to use tools as varied as chemical shampoos, herbal remedies, electric combs, and questionably- safe prescription medication. 
  • nor, does she understand why the Kanawha County School system doesn’t have a more comprehensive policy in place for dealing with outbreaks.  Without a no-nit policy, kids who are infested can re-infest the class again and again.
  • wonders if her daughter is cute enough to pull off the Sinead O’Connor.
  • wishes her life were more glamorous than it sounds.
  • is excited to be buying a house and- soon after- getting a dog.
  • doesn’t know what to wear to the Garage Ball on Saturday night.
  • is hopeful that her new therapist will have special insight into some of her not-unique-enough issues.
  • still really, really wants a MacBook.
  • isn’t ready for snow.
  • isn’t ready for the Holidays.
  • isn’t ready for adulthood.
  • needs to lose 10 pounds.
  • still loves her blog, even though she’s neglected it and only writes in sentence framents.